11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
