people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
