i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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