Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
