Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
