i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
