Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
