I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
