About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
