So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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