As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
