WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
