well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
