My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
