I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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