her vagine was all disorganized.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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