And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
