This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
