if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
where does the pee come out of this thing
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i dont even know how to be here
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
