Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
