OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
