I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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