you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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