Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
