i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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