areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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