I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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