Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
