You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
