My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
