she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
