dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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