i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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