I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
