Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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