I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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