I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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