This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
