If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
birth control should be required to get into college
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
