I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
its liver damage thursday
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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