We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
cat food counts as protein by the way
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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