Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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