I'm lost and stupid without you.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
