Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
