I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
