He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
