I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
