I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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