i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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