Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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